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Peeing System


Whenever I go to Recreation Club in Ibadan, I meet my friend Alhaji Balogun Ajanlakoko. Alhaji is one of those Nigerians that I am always happy to learn something of interest from him. In fact, when I ask Alhaji a question, he provides me with ten answers, on questions I never asked.


For some time, while travelling along and across Ibadan, I noticed some Nigerian men, that when they pee, they bend their knees and go as low as possible to release their merchandise.


On the other hand, I saw women, when they pee, they just stand, spread their legs and pee. Without getting wet!


This peeing system puzzled me, because where I come from, the peeing system is just the opposite. Women sit, men stand.


I told Alhaji Ajanlakoko about that peeing system, that I noticed in Ibadan, and asked him about the rationale behind it.


At that time, I already understood that there must be a rationale behind such systems in Nigeria. Or not.


Plus, I learned that usually, in most cases, the systems in Nigeria make more sense than the Oyinbos (Peeled People) systems. Or not.


Alhaji Ajanlakoko looks like someone that is just waiting for such questions to be on the table, and he immediately say - the Oyinbo don't know how to properly pee.


If you don't respect the spirit of the JUJU, the JUJU will come after you, this is something everyone must understand.


Alhaji Balogun Ajanlakoko say that the JUJU spirit is all around, up and down and we don't want to accidently pee on the JUJU.


Thus, when a man decides to say hello to "his best friend," then he will go as low as possible, minimizing the chance that his pee will hit the Juju.

You must be very careful, and respect the Juju.


I understand, that is the rational for the men. There is a lot of wisdom behind that practice. Now, what about the women? I asked Alhaji.


Women are completely different than men. In all aspects. Many people don't realize, how different women are from men – He says.


Once, his grandmother told him the history of his village and how the village was started.


She said that many-many-many years ago, ten young friends, about 20-years' old, looked for a new location to settle down. They reached a nice valley, with a small river flowing through, cutting the valley right in the middle.


For some reasons, they decided to split the group into two smaller groups. Each group had 5 people.


A Man's group, consisted one man and four women, settled in one side of the valley.


Whereas, the Woman's group, consisted one woman and four men, settled on the other side of the valley.


Can you envision that? – Ajanlakoko asked me.


Yes Alhaji, I replied.


For twenty years, the two families peacefully lived side by side, although in the Woman's group the males were fighting all the time.


The two groups raised their next generations and each woman managed to bring 5 boys and 5 girls.


Twenty year later the status was as follow:

The Man's group comprised of 21 males and 24 females, together 45.

The Woman's group comprised of 6 females and 9 males, together 15.


One day, the Man-group's elder boy meets the Woman-group's elder boy and tells him that the old arrangement should be amended, since his group is much bigger. He is right!


The Woman's elder answer - this is unacceptable, our parents agreed, and agreement must be honored. He is right too!


When two such groups are right, and there is no compromise, eventually they fight. Obviously, the Man's Group easily win, they are 3 times bigger.  


Since that time – Ajanlakoko grandmother told him – In our village and all around the proper world, a man with few women has a better chance to survive and be successful in the bush.


Alhaji Ajanlakoko adds – my grandmother also said that, monogamy is unnatural for proper people, and that's why it is failing for the Oyinbo, the peeled people.


Look in the Bible – Alhaji said - the powerful have more than one woman most of the time. Without mentioning names to avoid embarrassment. Surely, some choose to live with one woman, which is very fine.


Monogamy system is very recent, and come mainly from peeled Christians. Later some Jews in Europe also follow it. The reason for it, is not clear at all.


By the way – Alhaji Ajanlakoko continues - out of 2.2 million animals' species that we know, only exceptionally few, practices monogamy. Mainly birds.


As for peeled people, a significant percentage of their marriage end in separation. You can't call it monogamous practice.


In America there was research to find out the reasons what are the reasons for people wake up in the middle of the night.

2% wake up due to a Full Moon syndrome.

8% wake up to pee.

90% wake up in order to go home.


Surely, some prefer monogamy and sometimes it's even works. Sometimes not.


By the way, prostitution wouldn’t exist if monogamous was natural.


This is why my grandmother told me - we are not monogamous. It is unnatural! Says Alhaji Ajanlakoko.


Don't get me wrong, essentially, the woman is far more important than man.


In the old days, the war winners, killed the men and kept the women alive, because they are more important.


In nature, female don't fight for the male. On the contrary, the males fight for the females, sometimes to death. One male can easily fertilize many females.


Who do the hard work? Asked Alhaji Ajanlakoko.


Who raises the next generation?

The woman carries the babies for months.

She gives painful birth, that is changing her body forever.

She feeds the baby from her own breasts.

She raises and educates the entire new generations on earth.


Woman is more important than man.


Despite the women's importance, men with their competitiveness, take for themselves 95% of the credit and leave 5% to the women.


Not fair, says Ajanlakoko, and not good for the world.


We need more women to lead the world, to manage corporations, and to lead communities. The women will do a better job.


Alhaji – I say – I totally agree with everything you say, but why women are peeing standing and how they do it, without getting wet?


Ahhh … Okeyo … - Ajanlakoko goes on – this is the rational of the practice.


As I say, the women are doing all the work in the village. Early morning, a good woman goes to the river to fetch water.


On her head she carries a big calabash or gourd and sometimes a baby on her back. Always there is a baby. The baby is wrapped on her back with a piece of garment tightened on her breasts.


On the river, she fills the calabash with water and two other women usually help her to place the very heavy calabash on her head. She can't raise the calabash by herself.


Now, when the calabash is on her head, the baby on her back, sometimes sucking one of her breasts, she is ready to walk home.


The walking back to the village can take a long time. On her way, especially when few drops of water jump on her shoulders, the pee start knocking her.


Heavy calabash on her head, the baby on her back, sucking one of her breasts.


Alhaji Ajanlako says - the only option she has is to pee while standing; so, she spreads the legs and pee. Very normal, correct, wise and natural system.

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